Make the World Better

Thursday, February 25, 2010

The Lost-Cause Kid

When she walked into her 7th grade classroom on the very first day of that school year, she found Randy standing on top of his table screaming and jumping around like a wild monkey. He was a highly intelligent boy, who have learned that by behaving wildly, he would be able to fill his empty cup with negative attention.

By the time he reached middle school, Randy had been labeled SED (Severely Emotionally Disabled). He appeared to be an unwanted child. Neither his mother nor father had ever attended a parent-teacher conference and lived with his grandmother most of the time.

Mr B, the Behavioral Specialist, had worked with Randy throughout grade school. By the end of the first week of school, Mr B, quietly confided in her that he considered Randy a lost cause. When she heard Mr B's attitude about Randy, she offered to try just leaving Randy in her classroom for now. Great relief washed over Mr B's face.

She decided that the time she had with Randy each day was going to be enough to "fill his cup" and make it his best year ever. A decision was made, an intention issued and an expectation was in place.

The next morning, while Randy was at Mr B's office to discuss the changes, she opened a community meeting with the class and explained "Operation Concentration".
She invited an open discussion and "brief" venting about what it had been like to be classmates with Randy. She then gave one of the most convincing pep talks of her teaching career, citing benefit after benefit that they could expect out of "Operation Concentration".

She explained that it is perfectly acceptable to acknowledge any person who is behaving unskillfully with compassionate attention, as a means to ease the intensity. In certain terms, she told them what she would do and what she expected them to do and not to do.

Operation Concentration: 1) No throwing an attitude, 2) You always have the right to look to the teacher to intervene, 3) Your only job is to remain neutral and to concentrate on your work.

Regardless, she expected them ALL to stay the course and as they did, this would be the Best Year Ever for all of them. When Randy arrived back from Mr B's office, she took him aside in the hallway to briefly explain Operation Concentration.

She told him she saw him to be a wonderful, gifted and talented person, and she expected him to have his Best Year Ever. Most importantly, that she wanted him in her classroom. Telling "unwanted" children with abandonment issues that you want them in your classroom is powerful and transformative.

Randy came back to class still expecting to get negative attention from his peers. But no one looked up. He went over to his desk and tried to negatively engage the student behind him. The student looked up, gave an acknowledging "Hey there" smile and then went back to work.

Randy began to escalate his behavior. He went over to the bookcase, shaking it and he looked to see who was watching. The shaking it again, and again, until he jolted all of the books on the floor. Everyone remained focus and neutral. Two students got out of their desks and quietly put the books back on the shelves.

As they sat back down, both of them acknowledged Randy compassionately and then began concentrating again on their assignments. As Randy was struggling to grasp what had just happened, his teacher quietly invited him to pull his chair up to her desk for a little visit. His mental wheels were spinning: "This does not compute".

She compassionately asked him, "So what was going on for you that you felt so upset that you pushed over the bookcase?" Randy said, "I don't know". Then she asked, "Well, if you did know, what might it be?". Randy said, "I DON'T KNOW". She followed with, "When you do you, I want you to tell me, so that together we can figure out what you want and how you can best get it". Realising he needed a segue out of this, she said "For now, let 's get back to work."

Over the next several hours, Randy struggled internally trying to absorb that he was "wanted" by his teacher, and there was a NEW classroom atmosphere that was different from before. When the bell rang, he stayed after class and said to her, "Everybody hates me and I hate them back". The lines of communication were now open between student and teacher and progress would be made.

Over the next several weeks, Operation Concentration remained in effect successfully, as Randy and his classmates became a peaceful, productive learning community. Little by little, the members of the class who had previously hated and taunted him, began to acknowledge his accommodatively.

Within nine weeks, she saw him in the hallways, able to hold his own with the older kids, who had upset and teased him before. She even saw him with a skip in his step and joy on his face in the hallways. Reports can in that Randy was doing well during outside breaks and that he even had made a few new friends. In the faculty room, other teachers could be overheard talking about Randy in positive terms.

A child's success makes a bridge between parents and schools where there was none. Randy's mother came to the last parent-teacher conference of the year. There was a quiet acknowledgement between the two of them, as the teacher could see pain coupled with relief on Randy's mother's face. She was so grateful that her child was happier and had enjoyed his Best Year Ever.

The Power Of One: I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something I can do - Edward Everett Hale.

One step must start each journey. One word states an intention. One hope will raise our spirits. One touch can show you care. One voice can speak with wisdom. One heart can know what is true. One life can make the difference. You see, it is up to you. Thank your for the difference you make!

This is a true story which took place in a community where substance abuse and family violence had far reaching effects on its children. The previous year's acadmeic achievement test for the students in this class showed that 35% were in a moderate to high range and 65% were at risk and failing - an extremely high number of students whose cups needed to be filled.

Over the first 9 weeks of school, they grew into the high-functioning, productive, inclusive community this teacher firmly intended and convincingly envisioned. As the year progressed, every students succeeded and achieved the highest grades and standardized test scores they had ever received. The teacher in this true story is Mary Reynolds, M.S. Educational Psychology and Counselling.

The audio-visual presentation of this story can be found at http://www.lostcausekidmovie.com/.